The present is the blocks with which we build.
So far, I’m having difficulty finishing this challenge. So many things happened to me the last few months that it’s pretty difficult to choose something concrete to share. Plus the fact also, that most of my achievements are brought about by failure on some other things.
So, let me just tell you a [short] story.
Last year was a very long, very hard, and very tiring period of self-rediscovery for me. I felt that, in the last 4 years, I was trying to be everything for everyone that I forgot to be myself. No, scratch that. I focused on work, focused on one person, and forgot about the rest, including myself. In hindsight, I really felt that I was happy back then. But, and this is very big, also in hindsight, I realized that the happiness was superficial. I was letting go of some of the most important values and principles I was raised on and I began to feel restless. I suddenly felt dissatisfied. I started to feel that something was missing.
It took me a year to sort through all of my emotional shit; I was, to put it lightly, an emotional wreck. I kept waiting for a sign, for an opportunity, for the right time, until I woke up one morning and realized that I cannot wait forever. I have to pray that I was strong enough. I have to be brave enough to take that next step if I want things to change.
So I did. I started to write again. I spent more time reading. I let go of people who do not accept and respect my values and reconnected with the people who do. With the help of some very special people, I started to rediscover the things about me that I love and do things that give me joy.
Now, I am happy. I am with people who love me for who I am and not for who they want me to be. I am doing the things I love. That, for me, is a great accomplishment. An accomplishment that would give me every opportunity to live life fully. And I truly believe that I am at my happiest today (so far) and that things would only get better.
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